Reflections of a Work-at-Home Mom

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The day I decided to be a work-at-home mom, I had the confidence that I will be good at it. I know that because I give my 100% in everything I do. Back then, we only have the twins to look after, we live in Manila and I have a sister-in-law who helps me around the house (kids included).

Life was a breeze.

Fast forward to today – we have an almost 9 year old twins, a 1- year old boy with special needs and we live miles away from family who would normally be available whenever I need help.

Life was different.

Now, working-at-home has become more and more difficult and I have been giving lesser time to my daughters while I give more than 100% to my boy. It was always a constant battle for time and attention. My girls have been pretty much understanding and I commend them for that. However, as a mother, it felt like a wall has started to appear between us. A wall that I will never be able to break if I don’t act on it soon.

The twins know that Alphonse will constantly need my attention and they know that he is a priority. I’m telling you – I feel their love for their baby brother and that is why I have this guilt feeling of neglecting them for him. Add work to the picture and you have this perfect “guilt trip”.

So today, I am taking the time to reflect – about being a mom, being a wife and being a businesswoman.

I cannot give up being a mom but I can’t give up my work either.

How can i become a good mom and a successful business woman then? Below are two vital things I intend to change.

Set My Work Days

I have decided to only work from Mondays – Fridays and dedicate my weekend to my family. In case you don’t know, I have no working hours. I work whenever there is an opportunity and I work even on weekends. So if you don’t see me on Facebook or I don’t respond to a customer service issue on a weekend, please understand that this woman also wants to be a good mother.

To implement this plan, I have to strictly discipline myself to stay away from the computer on weekends.

Respect Family Time

Mobile phones will be strictly for capturing memories when I am with my family. Technology has taken a toll on my relationship with them and it’s time to take control of my time. I didn’t mean to say this is a fool proof plan because I know there will be times I may have to check in once in a while. What I want to minimize (if not possibly eliminate) is that “urge” to regularly unlock the phone and click on that refresh button.

Maintaining balance between work and family is never easy and I know that it will take more than just this blog post for me to see the results of these changes so for now, I’ll park here but I promise  I will continue to share more in the coming days.

Now, let me take the spotlight on you.

When you spend time with your family, do you keep your phone away to avoid distraction or do you keep it with you all the time? Tell us more about it in the comments below!

Do you know a friend or two who might benefit from this discussion? Feel free to share this post.

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Comments

  1. jaimee says

    I can relate mye, it’s not easy. In addition to the struggles of being a WAHM / I am a workaholic and am trying to convert that energy into the children. Not easy. Believe it or not, don’t have a cell phone. I have a little ipod I carry around the house :) Needless to say, When I am out and about with the kids, it’s internet free. It’s refreshing to disconnect from the world and look around you. I often observe people’s heads down in their phones on buses and streetcars.. times have changed real quickly over a decade!

    But yes- just trying your best to disconnect and try not to bring your phone on ghe weekends, it really makes you feel good!

    • Mye says

      I want that kind of lifestyle! To be just enjoying the time with the kids when I am with them. I have been so connected every minute of the day that it has totally taken over me. It’s time to change :)

      Thanks for sharing your experience, Jaimee!

  2. says

    It’s hard to balance work and children–I can’t even imagine having three of them! On the other hand, I also school at home, so that’s a pretty big drain of energy. And once I’m done being the teacher, then I need to be the Mom and playmate, too! Most of the day goes towards my son, and then at night (it’s 3:13am, for example) is when I get work time and me time. I really hope your new schedule works for you and your family, Mye!

    • Mye says

      Oh dear! I almost homeschooled the girls when we came here because we were late enrolling them. We ended up waiting for the next school year because it will probably be the end of me. Taking into consideration that I don’t have patience in teaching. I used to be able to work until that hour until this little cutie pie here came into the picture and he seems to not want to give me a 60-minute uninterrupted sleep lol!

  3. says

    I commend YOU for making some changes to reflect your priorities. I went through a similar process earlier this year and am extremely grateful that I did. The only work I do on Saturday is 2 quick email checks for customer service issues like missing downloads. I do not work at all on Sundays and this is posted on the site. I separated my business email from my personal email so my business email does not ping my phone. I quit posting personal scrapbook pages online so that I did not use up that time when I could be with my kids instead. My family needs and deserves my BEST, not my leftovers. The mental space that I have gotten from not thinking about working all the time has made me a better, nicer, more loving person.

    • Mye says

      It is hard being a mother already. At times, some things have got to give. :) thank you for sharing Christine!

  4. says

    I’m not in the situation of being a WAHM, but I still relate to your post Mye. Thanks for sharing and I hope it is going well so far. xxx

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